What Not To Expect When You're Expecting
by ask4more
Summary: Susan is pregnant. Abby feels compelled to help out. Susan blames it on her hormones. Abby has no excuse.


**WHAT NOT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE EXPECTING**

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I wrote this a long time ago and completely forgot about it.

It's a little different from what I would've written today, but rereading now I liked the little snapshot quality of it.

TIMELINE: It kick starts around mid season 10, when Susan is pregnant and Abby is back in med school.

DISCLAIMERS: ER is the intellectual property of Constant C Productions, Amblin Entertainment, and Warner Brothers Television. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

Week 18

Abby holds Susan's hair as she dry heaves over the toilet bowl.

When her stomach gives her a truce, Susan wipes the traces of vomit from the corners of her mouth and shakes her head in defeat "I shouldn't be having morning sickness this far along… ".

Abby leans against the wall behind her with hands in her pockets and teases her "It's probably that hot dog from the roach coach you had for _breakfast_ ".

Susan washes her hands and tries to get rid of the taste in her mouth with minty mouthwash. She looks up and their eyes meet in the mirror "I have a good excuse, I'm pregnant! You know what they say about cravings…".

* * *

Week 20

Abby corners her in Exam 1, dragging the ultrasound along with her "Just lay down for a minute…".

Susan whines but knows Abby won't give up that easily "Oh, come on! They're just Braxton Hicks'… I've been on my feet all day…".

She looks at her with her trademark pout and an unimpressed face, the transducer ready in her hand. Susan rolls her eyes and acquiesces, plops herself on the gurney. She shrieks when she feels the cold lube on her skin and Abby whispers apologetically "Sorry about that…".

She's on OB rotation so this _is_ , technically, a consult. "Heart rate is fine…", she smiles and Susan's eyes shine as she sees her baby on the monitor "Yeah. I thought so…".

Abby tries a different angle and they both eye each other in surprise. Abby says gently "I can page Coburn so we can be sure…".

Susan shakes her head softly and Abby notices her eyes brimmed with tears "I'm having a boy…".

* * *

Week 21

She's down with the flu, slouched over the table with her head on her arms and watches as Abby comes back from the kitchen.

"You have to eat", she says as she places a bowl of soup in front of her.

Susan stirs the soup with her spoon absentmindedly. Then she looks up into brown eyes "Do you think I'm crazy? Doing this on my own?". She starts tearing up – _fuck_ – she's _always_ crying nowadays.

Abby knows it's the hormones. She also knows Susan is having doubts about raising the baby as a single mom.

Chuck keeps calling her and showing up at County, hopeful that she'll change her mind and move in with him.

She's holding Susan and before she knows it, her lips kiss the crown of her head "I think you're very brave for doing what you feel is _right_ …".

Then she adds as an afterthought "And you're not alone…".

* * *

Week 22

Coburn keeps filling the chart and then pauses when she realizes Susan Lewis keeps on rambling "Susan. You have vaginal bleeding and contractions. I don't want you dragging yourself around the ER. You're a preterm waiting to happen".

Susan tries to negotiate "Janet, I _can't_ be in stuck in bed at just 22 weeks! What if I take just half shifts from now on?".

"If you want to take this pregnancy full term, you really shouldn't risk it".

Susan sighs and sags in the gurney.

* * *

Week 23

"So, I'm thinking Charles – Charlie – after Chuck… Maybe he'll cut me some slack…", Susan says as she plays with her fork, pretending to be eating.

Abby smiles and nods "I like it…".

"Chuck wanted to name him Cosmo…", Susan giggles and Abby leans and pats her belly playfully "Poor boy…".

* * *

Week 25

Susan is _sick_ of watching TV.

She checks her email for the fourth time but everyone she knows is _working_ and unlikely to email her in the middle of the day.

As she hums to some song on the TV, the baby kicks, more than once.

She can't hold a tune to save her life and chuckles gently "Sorry about that, buddy…". As she rubs her belly, her son calms down.

Susan wonders if Abby is coming over tonight, ponders about texting her but then decides against it. She has been so great, checking on her every day, coming over to see her whenever she can.

She has a full plate with her nursing shifts and med school rotations and Susan doesn't want to impose.

Susan saves a portion of the food she ordered, just in case Abby shows up.

* * *

Week 26

Abby ditches Neela and the other med students. They try to convince her to have breakfast with them after a night shift but she's just too tired.

She uses the spare key Susan gave her and lets herself in as quietly as possible. It's early and she doesn't expect her to be awake.

Lit only by the TV screen, in just a floral nightgown, Susan looks like a renaissance painting.

Abby shouldn't be looking at her like _that_. She doesn't even _know_ what she's _doing_ or what she _wants_ when she sits on the edge of Susan's bed. She's sleeping soundly and Abby feels a burst of affection running through her. She leans down and kisses her temple softly, lingering with her lips on her skin.

Satisfied that she hasn't woken her, Abby pulls up the cotton sheet over her resting form, turns off the TV and leaves.

* * *

Week 27

That's _all_ she does now: she watches TV and replays _every_ conversation she and Abby had in her head. As she sets the table, Susan recalls the last days and how much more closer they are now.

On Monday evening, Abby held her. They were watching a movie and she somewhat nested herself against Abby's side so she just put her arm around her shoulders. Susan realizes she doesn't remember much about the movie.

Tuesday - she couldn't forget Tuesday because she kissed her goodbye just above the corner of her lips. She had aimed for Abby's cheek but somehow it landed dangerously close. It could have been awkward but Abby just smiled and said goodbye.

They hadn't seen each other on Wednesday because Abby covered for Haleh – she needed the money. After her shift, when she retrieved her phone from her locker, Abby smiled quietly at the text she found on her cell "Hope you had a quiet shift. I missed you today x".

On Thursday, Abby stopped by with lunch in tow. As they ate, she squeezed Susan's arm and whispered "You're glowing…".

Susan's eyes watched her hand on her arm and she looked away from Abby's intense stare because she knew she was blushing from all the attention. Said hand landed on her shoulder and squeezed again "Hey… are you okay?".

Susan looked up and she asked tentatively "Why are you doing this?".

Abby shrugged her shoulders "I worry about you…" and Susan replied "You don't _have_ to…".

"I _want_ to".

It's Friday and Susan feels good today so she's cooking for Abby, it's the _least_ she can do. Nothing fancy, just some pasta and sauteed vegetables.

As she goes to her room to change, she frets with her wardrobe. Nothing fits her well anymore and she hates all her pregnant clothes. Susan slaps herself mentally – why is she so worried? It's not like she's going out on a date.

It _feels_ like it, though.

Susan blames it on her boredom.

* * *

Week 28

In Lamaze class, the instructor sees Susan alone and asks naturally "Isn't your girlfriend coming today?".

A little in shock at the older woman's assumption, Susan doesn't know what to answer to _that_. But before she tries to formulate an answer, Abby appears at the door "Sorry I'm late… Traffic's a nightmare today".

Susan can't help the smile showing on her face.

That night when Abby helps Susan onto the bed, she notices her green eyes on her "What is it?", she smiles as she fingers a blond lock out of her face.

Deep in thought, Susan chews on her lower lip, but then decides to share "Miranda assumed you were my girlfriend…".

" _Really_? Uh, were you embarrassed that she thought…".

Susan notices Abby's palm is still on her cheek and feels emboldened.

Abby closes her eyes when she feels satin on her lips as her answer.

* * *

Week 29

Susan kisses Abby desperately because they haven't seen each other in three days and she spent those 72 hours thinking about her smile, her hands, her mouth.

They're on her bed supposedly to watch a movie more comfortably, but she's on her side now and lets her hand wander under Abby's shirt. Susan almost freezes when she realizes she's not wearing a bra. Her nipple is stiff and she cups her breast boldly.

When Abby almost yelps under her touch, Susan jerks back, embarrassed at what she has just done.

"God. I'm sorry! I'm so worked up… I do _nothing_ all day… you come here after a full shift, make _me_ dinner and I just _jump_ you… I'm so sorry".

She looks truly ashamed and Abby can't believe that she actually thinks _she_ doesn't want this. She grabs her left hand and pushes it past the elastic band of her scrub pants, their moans echoing in unison at the contact.

Abby doesn't even remember the last time she had sex and forces herself to hold back because Susan's fingers feel like a sweet torture.

Susan watches her every reaction in pure fascination and picks up a faster rhythm that soon unravels an orgasm that Abby feels has been forming for weeks.

* * *

Week 30

Susan has a check-up at County and calls Chuck to ask him to come. It's the right thing to do, he's the father after all.

He gets all excited and wants to pick her up so they can go together.

Susan says she'll meet him at the hospital.

She gets there early because she wants to talk to Coburn. She has been doing some light yoga at home and feels great. Coburn is happy with her effacement and says she can take little walks but doesn't want her to overdo it.

Susan asks meekly if sex is allowed at this point and Janet smiles knowingly "Again, the trick is to take it easy. And lube is your best friend".

She knows she doesn't _need_ it and that Coburn means different from what she has in mind.

When Chuck gets there and he puts his arm around her, she has the urge to swat his hand away. But then Charlie appears on the screen and they both watch their son in awe.

He insists they get a cup of coffee upstairs in the cafeteria and gets her decaf. Susan forces herself to smile and Chuck sighs "Look, you've asked me to back off and I did… but we're having a kid and I want to be in his life".

Susan looks up from her cup "I want you to be in his life too".

 _Just not in mine_.

"I don't want to be a weekend dad", he says looking into her eyes and Susan nods "I wouldn't oppose to joint custody".

His eyes mellow and he finishes his coffee "It's a shame you never gave us a chance, Susan. I think we could have been great together".

Susan wishes she felt the same "I'm sorry".

* * *

Week 31

They don't really talk about _this_ because they _feel_ and they _know_.

Susan _knows_ that when Abby sings to her belly button, Charlie starts kicking.

As she spreads Tummy Butter on Susan's stomach and hips, Abby _feels_ that this is exactly where she's supposed to be.

At first, Susan was a little self conscious because she feels all bloated, but now it became like a routine for them and as she lies in her underwear, she tries not too focus too much on the effect of Abby's hands on her.

When Abby starts doing her thighs, Susan _has_ to close her eyes.

She massages anti stretch marks lotion on Susan's inner thighs and she can't help but notice the wet patch on her panties. Susan has touched her before but she didn't let her reciprocate.

Tonight is going to be different because Coburn gave her the green light and she wants Susan to feel great and beautiful as she sees her.

She comes closer to kiss her and her hand strokes down her belly. Susan gasps when she slips a hand inside her panties and Abby sighs at the slick softness she finds. She remembers Susan mentioned she'd get a bikini wax because she couldn't see anything down _there_ and smiles when she realizes that she probably wants this even more than she does.

"Tell me if it hurts and I'll stop right away...", she says softly and Susan shakes her head vigorously "You're _not_ hurting me... that feels amazing...".

Abby nods and stops to peel off her panties, she wants to _see_ her. Susan's skin is pearly white everywhere but between her legs it's a beautiful throbbing pink.

She actually says it aloud "You have beautiful skin..." and Susan chuckles "No one ever to told me that...".

Susan loves that Abby says things she doesn't quite understand.

* * *

Week 32

Susan's mother calls and wants to go shopping for baby clothes with her. She _has_ to go because she _never_ does anything with her mother. Cookie oohs and aahs at all the little onesies and bibs and while she decides between a pale blue or a minty green romper she shoots "Are we ever going to meet that _boyfriend_ of yours?".

Susan rolls her eyes at her "I told you we're not together anymore".

Cookie's on a roll and chirps "You should get married, if only for the benefits".

Susan hates her condescending tone and deadpans "Is that why you and dad are still married?".

She has the urge to tell her everything about Abby just to see the shock on her face. Susan resumes the shopping spree while they're still civil saying she's tired.

When she gets home she folds all the new baby clothes in the spare room - no, in _Charlie's_ room. While she's at it, Susan goes to her room and clears a drawer for Abby. That way she won't have to leave so early when she stays over.

They're spending so much time together and it feels so incredibly right that she's even afraid to think it out.

* * *

Week 33

Neela loves all the procedures but Abby hates the NICU. All those sick babies make her worry about Susan and Charlie. There is no down time in NICU rotations, just one relentless shift after the other.

When she gets off at 2 in the morning, Abby's halfway there before she realizes she's heading towards Susan's place.

She lets herself in and undresses in the dark, the sweet aroma of all the candles Susan has around the house make her feel welcome.

Susan's on her side, snoring softly. She plants a kiss on her shoulder and spoons behind her.

Abby's hand curls around Susan's belly and she stirs under her "Wha' time is it?", she whispers sleepily.

She presses herself along her back and murmurs "It's late... go back to sleep".

Susan blacks out immediately but under her hand, Charlie feels very awake.

* * *

Week 35

Susan _has_ to ask what will happen with them when the baby comes.

As she finishes hanging the shelves into the drywall, Abby shrugs "I'll be anywhere you want me to be... If you want me to back off for a while, I understand...".

Susan comes closer and holds her hand "I need you here with me".

* * *

Week 37

She's having contractions and Abby takes her to County. They're Braxton Hicks' but becoming stronger and with just a few minutes apart, Abby doesn't want them to take any risks.

Abby never leaves her side, nods when the OB resident they send down asks if they're together.

Yosh winks at them and Susan just knows she'll never live this down.

Another contraction hits and she winces in pain. Abby holds her hand and looks at the other doctor expectantly. He smiles "You're 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced. This baby is not coming out today".

When she's discharged, everyone comes pat her belly and they tell her she looks great.

Susan feels like Mrs Jumbo.

* * *

Week 39

Susan squats with her back against the wall because it's the only comfortable position she can find.

She's having contractions since dawn and they're getting more frequent. As she watches the morning news, Susan looks down when she feels warmth going down her leg.

 _Here we go._

She reaches for her phone and dials 911.

"Hi, my name is Susan Lewis. I'm 39 weeks pregnant, in active labor and my membranes just ruptured - I need an ambulance".

* * *

2 hours post partum

Abby still knows most of the nurses in OB. They ask her if she's coming to see Dr Lewis and she nods. When she enters the room, Susan is asleep and she notices the little bundle in the nearby bassinet.

Abby has held a lot of babies but she feels a joy she doesn't recognize when his little eyes stare back at her for the first time. She whispers out loud "Hey little guy... do you remember me?".

Charlie's obviously silent but his tiny hand grabs her thumb and Abby knows she's already irrevocably in love with this little creature.

When Susan wakes up and she helps her breastfeed him for the first time, Abby feels tears running down her cheeks.

* * *

24 hours post partum

Chuck comes to meet his son and weeps happily at the little boy sleeping in his arms.

Susan's hormones are all over the place and she tears up again.

He whispers at her "Can you believe we made _this_?".

Susan just smiles. Deep down, she always knew he'd be a great dad.

* * *

1 week

Abby clears her throat when she and Weaver sit to set the nurses schedule for next month "Uh, I need to take some time off".

Kerry looks at her over the rim of her glasses "Everything alright?".

She smiles, her eyes averting to her pen "Yeah, I have all this overtime and I need to study for my board exams...".

The redhead nods gently and then asks out of the blue "Have you talked to Susan?".

Abby feels herself blushing and nods "Yes. She's doing great". Then she adds "I bumped into Sandy and Henry the other day. He's adorable".

Weaver gushes "He's _perfect._ Let's wrap this up, I can't wait to hold my son".

Abby chuckles because, just like Kerry, there's this woman and a baby boy she's dying to see.

* * *

2 weeks

She agrees meeting up with Neela to study together but keeps yawning every few minutes.

The younger woman smiles at her "Late night?" and Abby murmurs "I was up late with the baby so Susan could rest a little...".

Neela asks her the million dollar question "Are you guys together... like a _couple_?".

Abby doesn't even remember the last time she slept at her place and smiles "I guess we are".

The younger woman watches her for a minute and declares "I had no idea you were gay. Didn't you use to go out with Dr Kovac or is it just some unfounded rumor?".

"I did go out with him for a while", she says gently as she taps with her pen on her textbook.

"So, you're bisexual?".

Abby chuckles, amused that Neela needs to define her sexual orientation. She smirks "I _must_ be if I'm sleeping with her...".

"Oh, so you've slept with her _already_?", Neela smiles with all her teeth.

"Pre-baby", Abby clarifies. She knows she'll have to wait until Susan feels ready again.

By now, Neela has completely put her textbook aside "So, how was it?".

Abby doesn't kiss and tell but she takes pity on the younger woman's eagerness.

She smiles slyly "Fireworks".

* * *

3 months

Susan's heart melts in her chest as she watches Abby cooing at Charlie and her little boy happily babbling back at her.

She swirls him a little in her arms and he smiles his adorable toothless smile "Look who's here...".

The baby's smile becomes wider when he recognizes Susan and Abby hands him to her. Susan cradles him against her chest and steals her a kiss.

Abby smiles against her lips "How am I supposed to go to work after that?".

Susan kisses her again and whispers huskily "Don't go. Call in sick".

She looks at her in mock shock "Susan!".

The blonde shrugs " _Everyone_ does it. I can make it worthwhile... when this guy falls asleep, that is...".

Charlie drools happily on Susan's shoulder and Abby picks up the phone and starts to formulate an excuse.

Now that her body is returning to its normal shape, Susan grows more confident each day. She eats healthier and starts going to the gym because she wants to be beautiful for Abby.

When Charlie is _finally_ asleep, Susan straddles Abby on the couch, her hands unbuttoning her shirt uncerimoniously, then going for her bra. She lunges on her breasts, licking and sucking until Abby begs her to take her. She leaves a wet path down her chest and stomach and when Susan undoes her slacks, Abby is already out of breath.

Susan parts her with her tongue and lingers on her clit until Abby comes as quietly as she can, trying not to wake the baby.

* * *

4 months

Chuck comes pick up Charlie. He's spending the afternoon with him for the first time and Abby sees the anxiety in her lover's eyes.

Chuck is a little miffed that Abby is _always_ there but decides to keep his mouth shut. He's taking his little guy to visit his folks and promises Susan to bring him back at reasonable hours.

When they leave, Susan bursts into tears and Abby holds her close "Hey, hey... He's gonna be back in a few hours, sweetie...".

Abby forces her out of the house and they go to the park. It's an unusual warm day and they sit on a bench overlooking the lake.

Silently, Abby takes her hand and entwines their fingers. Holding Susan's hand in broad daylight feels strangely daring.

Abby loves it.

* * *

6 months

Chuck figures out _why_ Abby's always there and files for sole custody.

Susan is on the verge of panic speaking to her lawyer on the phone.

Abby tries not to eavesdrop as she cradles Charlie in her arms. She strokes his chubby cheek gently and hears fragments of what they're discussing.

 _"I have a much bigger income than him, I'm sure that has to count"._

 _"I don't even understand what this has to do with my ability to care for my son!"._

 _"Abby is the person I love, I'm not going to distance myself from her just because Chuck has a problem with it!"._

 _"Well, you better come up with a better strategy because I'm not going to hide anything!"._

As she lays a sleeping Charlie in his crib, Abby realizes her hands are shaking. She strokes his cute button nose and gazes at him for a while. Susan would go crazy if they took him away from her.

She finds her staring at the window and Susan smiles faintly at her "Is he down?".

"Yeah. Am I going to be a problem for you?", she asks cautiously and Susan asks gently "You heard?".

"I didn't mean to but...".

Susan takes her hand in hers "I guess I wanted you to hear those things... I never told you I love you...".

It's not just her hands, Abby is shaking all over "It's okay. I _know_ you do... I love you too...".

Susan cradles her face in her hands and whispers "Tell me we're in this together... Because if you do, I know we can beat whatever comes our way...".

Abby presses her lips to her mouth "I'm not going anywhere...".

* * *

9 months

It's not unusual for the first words of a baby to be "Mama", but Abby still blinks at Charlie, speechless. His first words are directed at _her_ and before she convinces herself that she's misheard him, he chirps again "Ma-ma! Ma-ma!".

Susan emerges from the bedroom with her mouth slightly agape, unsure of what she heard.

She comes closer and notices the tears in Abby's eyes, presses a kiss to her cheek.

Then, she takes Charlie from his feeding chair, kisses his feathery baby hair and whispers in his ear "Yep, son. She's definitely a keeper".

THE END


End file.
